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As part of the pending dissident frogman refrogmanized operation, I've been going through numerous unborn posts and other feverishly gathered bits of information that never made it to these pages, for various reasons.Most of these only need one look for you to remember why they were lost in oblivion. By which I mean there are the things you think, there are the things you write, and there are those worth reading.
My basic criterion is that when I wouldn't be bothered reading what I wrote on what I think, then you should be grateful I'm not trying to enforce that on you, even if you're only here by accident.
Others however, were innocent victims of the ruthless struggle of Time vs. The Bills You Have To Pay, which means that as far as they're not strictly related to the ruthless battle of Fresh News vs. How Many Blokes Already Said All About It, they might still be somewhat funny or interesting.
Yeah, even if you're here by accident.
For instance, consider these pictures I took a few months ago, in a men's wear shop East of France -- and we're talking mainstream shop here, not some underground activist back room. Think Wal-Mart, not DU's CafePress -- while I was feeling groovy and adventurous, and therefore looking to renew my aging wardrobe during a trip in those distant regions:
On the left (well yeah, that is not an accident) we have a 100% cotton black tee shirt with a red hammer and sickle symbol on it.
I know, you may think that Communism is just the abomination that caused more than 100 000 000 dead, and plunged entire societies and generations over several continents and decades into utmost misery and oppression.
I know.
But then you're probably some sort of foreign oppressor of The People®. In France, we know Communism is cool. Communism is fashionable. Communism is edgy. Communism is super groovy. At least, that's what we're told sometimes, and that's why we still have 3 (no wait, 4. 5? Sorry, I lost the count) Communist parties and candidates lining up at every election. And yes, many of them get elected as a result. That's what you get with democracy.
Communism is indeed very • French.
This is actually the only reason why you'd be hard pressed to find the same kind of tee shirt (in the same kind of shop, of course) with a swastikas on it.
Everybody knows National-Socialism was invented by the
Another way to look super groovy in a tee shirt in France is of course, like many places elsewhere, by making de l'humour on it.
Be warned however that unlike every places elsewhere, de l'humour has to be top-notch de l'humour de France quality.
In fact, let me recast that: if it truly is de France, then it is de l'humour.
If not, well, the rest of the non-French world is just boorish
A picture being worth 10 000 French intellectuals¹, I invite you to have a closer look at the outstanding example of de l'humour de France in the right column.
You can see a cartoon of President Bush, which is a sign of a very funny and witty de l'humour. Moreover, since La France is not just about very funny de l'humour but also unmatched cultural superiority, there are extra layers of deeper understanding in this tee shirt with de l'humour on it.
You didn't notice the extra deep layers? Ah but maybe that's because you're just a
I am. So let me help you:
If you look closely, you will see that the cartoon of President Bush is eating something. And if you look at the American flag in the background, you may notice that the stars were replaced by a pretzel, which is an outstanding example of the subtlety and finesse of de l'humour.
Indeed, even if you are not French, you may remember that President Bush once choked on a pretzel. Now if you are French, then it's for you the evidence that President Bush is stupid, because nobody ever choked on food or beverages, unless you're stupid.
And it is therefore a great opportunity for an extra layer of witty cultural de l'humour. Sure, you have to be French to truly appreciate it, but you should be anyway, unless you've been stupid enough not to be born as one, you silly
Meanwhile, since you've been a fairly pleasant company so far, I'll go as far as introducing you to the ultimate level of extra witty de l'humour on this tee shirt, the one that's so culturally advanced that it is de facto reserved to the French Elite: le written with words de l'humour just below President Bush's cartoon.
Where it says: "Fermeuh ton Bush".
If you were culturally superior enough to be born French, you'd already understood this dainty bon mot, and would already be jesting heartily at President Bush's obvious stupidity.
However, you're probably not, so I have to explain: it's a pun that can be understood as "shut your mouth" and it is very funny because 'Bush' sounds like 'Bouche' in French, which means 'Mouth'.
But wait, there's more. Here it gets extraordinarily intellectually superior: for some extra witty fun, the French Intellectual Humorist Philosopher behind this very funny de l'humour motto wrote 'Fermeuh' instead of 'Ferme' ('close' or 'shut').
Now it's not because he can't spell and conjugate his own language, although any contact with French emails and forums is enough to grant him the benefit of the doubt on this one, but because it looks just like he's writing as a kid would speak in a mocking way.
Which is so extra funny when
Okay, that's enough French de l'humour culture for today.
Next time I'll tell you about Jean-Jacques Rousseau's whoopee cushion.
1. : Even a small and very blurry one. And assuming there ever was, and still is, 10 000 intellectuals to be found in France.
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