the dissident frogman

13 years and 10 months ago

Hate me gently

the dissident frogman

Necrothreading much?

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In the light of the recent racket around British laws and courts' breakthrough in reenacting Orwell's worst Orwellian nightmares, at least when it comes to specious smoke screens for tyranny such as "hate speech", "defamation of (a certain) religion", and an outrageous disposition to hear cases brought forth by various Islamic libel tourists and other "stirring of racial hatred", I was hoping I could leverage the accompanying videotaped evidence to successfully sue Rowan Atkinson, the full Monty (Pythons), their writers and producers and live happily ever after, sunbathing on mattresses full of Her Majesty's banknotes with Her Majesty's face on them, in a faraway tropical island surrounded by swarms of exotic beauties with little clothes on. And margaritas à profusion.

I was prepared to argue that this would have been quite a small compensation for the prejudice of being pictured, on the sole account of being French, as a blathering hysterical homosexual with a béret basque and a small penis — and on British television and US silver screens to top it all.

You see, I never wore a béret basque, even for kicks(1). In fact, you'd sooner see me hanging out with the Hezbollah's Boy Band than put on this ridiculous piece of clothing that instantaneously makes one look like one's been milking a very sick cow that couldn't hold it any longer.

If those of you who still know what a cow looks like can forgive the picture.

Alas, considering a no less recent resolution by the International Dictator's Club and Political Branch of the Global Islamic Conquest (sometimes shortened by the stealthier and less alarming nickname of "United Nations") it would seem that my libel tourism trip only stands a chance, really, if the aforementioned hate speech applies to one religion, and one religion only.

Apparently, in addition to being only one God (and Mo being his prophet), there is only one religious offense, and that is the preposterous propagandist invention of "islamophobia".

There go my dreams of living off the British Court-ordered generosity of some among the most famous British entertainers.

Then again, Britain always lives up to its reputation of being a land of opportunity for us libel tourists, this time courtesy of a woman, no less, Miss Home Secretary Jaqui Smith(2):
Ministers have adopted a new language for declarations on Islamic terrorism.

In future, fanatics will be referred to as pursuing "anti-Islamic activity".

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said that extremists were behaving contrary to their faith, rather than acting in the name of Islam.

Security officials believe that directly linking terrorism to Islam is inflammatory, and risks alienating mainstream Muslim opinion.

The alleged terror attack on Glasgow Airport last summer: The Government is renaming Islamic terrorism as 'anti Islamic activities'

In her first major speech on radicalisation, Miss Smith repeatedly used the phrase "anti-Islamic".

In one passage she said: "As so many Muslims in the UK and across the world have pointed out, there is nothing Islamic about the wish to terrorise, nothing Islamic about plotting murder, pain and grief.

"Indeed, if anything, these actions are anti-Islamic'.
Of course, some of us happen to disagree with that latest bout of cultural suicide and taxpayer funded march towards Dhimmitude(3), with the notable exception of the thousands of us already killed at the cries of "Allah is the greatest", and therefore finding themselves in a completely neutral position on the issue (or any other, for that matter) what with being completely dead and all.

Right on you say, but wait, how does that make Britain a land of opportunity for the libel tourist? (wonders, hypothetically, the less enterprising minds in the audience.)

Easy. Follow my train of thought, if you can:

a. Mark Steyn was "summoned to appear before two Canadian Human Rights Commissions on vague allegations of (…) being "flagantry Islamophobic"(4), for speaking out (writing, actually) against Islamic terrorism, basically.

b. Under the new British Government Official Terminology Relating to Islamic Terrorism, Islamic terrorism is neither Islamic or terrorism, but "anti-islamic activity".

From which we can deduce that:

a. Speaking out against the anti-islamic activities formerly known as Islamic terrorism confirms Mark Steyn as a dedicated islamophile.

b. Ergo, attacking Mark Steyn for taking a courageous stand against anti-islamic activists (formerly known as Islamic terrorists) exposes these two Canadian Human Rights Commissions, as well as the non-profit (you wish) Canadian Islamic Congress which initiated the complaint, as vicious and dangerous islamophobic entities and organization.

Conclusion: approach Mark Steyn and offer legal counsel, fill a complaint in British courts, sue Canada and fill mattresses with Canadian Dollars(5).

I understand some of them even have Her Majesty's face on.
  1. And I won't even go anywhere near the other perfidious English slander.
  2. Her real name is just Jacqui Smith though, not Home Secretary Jacqui Smith.

    And not "that silly bitch" either, as some of you might, quite legitimately I guess, think.
  3. Meaning that until their sh* hits our fans and our backs end against the wall, Miss Smith ain't seen nothing yet when it comes to "anti-Islamic activities".
  4. Which is rather cool actually. I would submit that for the contemporary polemicist and pamphleteer, it's even cooler than being banned in China. At least until, or if, China becomes an open threat on the world stage. Yeah, more open than it already is.
  5. I know you find the whole thing a bit confusing, but that's why I'm on my way to becoming a successful and wealthy libel tourist, and you're still sweating and slaving in that cubicle.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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To reveal my email address, find the 5th  number in the code and enter it in the challenge field below.

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The Wise knows that Cities are but demonic Soul-tearing pits that shall not be entered.

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Comments thread (10)

3199 - Iwo Gina

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  • Iwo Gina Maryland

The film was hilarious. You are a political comic genius - well done. In fact, very well done.

I am sorely disappointed with madame Smith's apologist attitude. Why are people so reluctant to call a spade a spade?

Iwo Gina

3200 - crows beak

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Thank you for an excellent, and very amusing article.

Unfortunatley, I doubt that Ms Smith, New Labour's Newspeaker, will see your splendid piece, but I happily imagine her gagging on it anyway.

3201 - canker

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DF,

We don't think you wear a beret, we know your member is enormous and we are entirely clear that you're heterosexual. In addition, those of us who know and hate her are overwhelmed by admiration for your comments about the fragrant Jacqui. If you can make money from libel tourism I, for one, would support it.

3203 - TooTall

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Why would anyone worry about what the British with their "shiny toilet paper" think?

3204 - 2hotel9

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  • 2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania

Very well thought out plan, although doomed to fail. You ain't the right religion.

And I have, in fact, worn a beret. It is very stylish, black with a shield shaped flash sewn offset to the left front, presented top me after graduating from a certain US Army school. And further, I did kick the shit out of someone who unwisely disparaged it.

3205 - Sophie

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Cute, cute video. I love zee fake French aczens. You're lucky it's Monty Python. When the BBC talks about my country, it's straight-up hatemongering.

3206 - RebeccaH

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Mr. Frenchman, I don't hate you at all, and generally, really like you by inclination. I will never learn your language, since some others contending for my continent insist on Spanish, but my son did persist in learning French. Please keep up the information campaign. I wait for the day when France sets aside its disdain for le AngloSaxisme and throws herself wholeheartedly into the anti-Islamofascist fray. I think that day is coming soon for all of Europe (and for le Anglosaxisme).

3207 - Gozer the Carpathian

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  • Gozer the Carpathian

Hey now, I don't have a cubicle. ;)

One has to wonder what it'll take for these fools to understand the threat and the danger presented by this religion. Though I have a feeling they won't ever understand it until bullets, bodies, or a bomb is flying at them. :(

Gozer's Dot Com, where our Characters has Depth! Width and Height as well!

3210 - Red Collar

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  • Red Collar Montreal, Qc, Can

FYI: All our coins have the Queen's face on it. Our 20$ bill has her face too.

Also, the Governor General is the Queen's representative, and she spends my taxpayer dollars to visit Haiti (I hear the beaches are beautiful), spreading "goodwill". And then she goes off to Afghanistan to support only the women in the Canadian army. She's weird.

I work with frenchmen here in Montreal, and I've never seen one urinate in the street. YET.

3219 - gtiness

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Love the video. Very nicely done.