the dissident frogman

Article copy

If ‘n I was a ‘sykiatrist, I’m sure I would find Iran’s islamic theocrats’ obsession with faggotry¹ an interesting case.

They apparently can’t change their mind and won’t change the subject², and as a potential trained ‘sykiatrist in ‘sykiatrism, I find that more than a bit suspicious.

Today we have Ayatollah Abbas Tabrizian, the Father of Islamic Medicine—no less—lustfully jumping on the subject.

And this, is he:

I’m sure you will agree that anybody, even terminally-ill, is instantly cured of anything forever just by looking at that embodiment of islamic medicine. You’ll never want to see a physician ever again.

Allah be praised. It’s a miracle. I’m going to leave that here, as this humble webpage is now the Lourdes of the Internet (bookmark it for all your sick friends).

This should convince you that whenever the biggest hole between his beard and his turban opens up, you should take heed of the noise it makes. Because it just has to be, you know, medicinal stuff:

Don’t go near those who have had the COVID vaccine. They have become homosexuals.Ayatollah Abbas Tabrizian, FOIM

Well, there’s that of course, and they’d be stupid homosexuals too, just for agreeing to guinea pig³ the Cult of the Covidians’ Frankenvax.

As a sidenote, I hope you noticed that I am even less politically correct than the ayatollah of Islamic medicine. He said homosexual, where he could have said fag or fairy. Or poof’tah, even.

(As another sidenote, you’ve just been informed that according to Islamic medicine, one can catch homosexuality if ‘n one goes near those what have it.)

Still, we have to appreciate the efforts deployed by Islamic medicine to counteract the ravages of Western Zionist-Crusaders’—and just about any other kinds of infidels, really—nefarious quackery.

Many have forgotten that in the first decade of the 21st century, foreigners from abroad were running amok in the Sudan, vigorously shaking the good Muslims’ hands until their penises would melt down.

I didn’t forget, as I’ve been training ever since at what must be the ultimate kung-fu move. Forget about Budda Palm, Hard Qigong Palm or Five Fingers Death Punch, I’m fixing to become a master of the Penis Melting Handshake and launch a one-man Reconquista.

Feel the Chi Energy Ball, Abdul.

Anyway. In this instance, as well as in any other, the Gaystapo piles in:

Ayatollah Tabrizian combines scientific ignorance with a crude appeal to homophobia.some sexually challenged mouthpiece what doesn’t know about medicine, Islamic even.

Now we obviously shan’t have that because it’s bad and all, but I’m a bit puzzled by the incoherence of the G bit in LGBT++ here.

After all, when the poof’tahs⁴ infiltrated the higher echelons of ‘sykiatry in the 70’s, they proceeded to erase faggotage⁴ as a mental disorder and qualify it as a genetic one.

Meaning y’all have to “accept” it, because they’re just born like that you know.

This narrative has now trickled down most strata of society, and is parroted by goody-two-birkenstocks and suburban wives the Western world over as if it was the penultimate truth and you’re just a something-phobic macho Neanderthal for daring to question it and hold that these poor people, deprived as they are of the great joy of a normal relationship, should be helped. Not encouraged.

But hang on a minute. Let’s try to clear the smoke a bit here:

1. Hippy ‘sykiatry has established this truth to be self-evident that homosexuality is genetic.
2. Islamic medicine states that the covax, a shot of genetic modifiers basically, turns you into a homosexual.
3. Unhappy gays say the ayatollah is full of crapola.

Well. Looks to me like Islamic medicine 1, Fag Brigade 0.

Having said that, I fear that despite his victory against the forces of Western immodest immorality, I must point at a slight flaw in the diagnosis of Dr. Ayatollah Abbas Tabrizian (FOIM), as I believe he let his rightful therapeutic concern override the potential societal benefits.

Suppose the whole of Iran catches homosexuality, either through vaccination or lack of social distancing (and protective masking, of course) with those who were vaxxed.

Well, you’ve just solved the immorality problem. No more need for the burka and other modesty-shielding drapes. All the fags will sit on one side of the mosque, all the dykes on the other, and nobody will look at the other side with immoral lusty thoughts.

All of Iran is gay, and the ayatollahs can be happy again.

Now if ‘n we could only vaccinate all of the Umma, we’ll solve the explosive Islamic birth rate problem too.