the dissident frogman

16 years and 7 months ago

Today is my birthday and here's a dead deer's head

Here's the skinny: I'm forty.

the dissident frogman

Necrothreading much?

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As I'm pulling the plug on my roaring thirties, I figured I might as well step outside for a bit of practical art, rather than stay indoors and mourn for my past youth.

So I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon skinning this here dead deer's head(1). (Why? European mount that's why. Now you think twice before calling Col. Ressler on me.)

And to any of my friends and relative who will feel smart enough to drop by, having worked for some time on the you're-not-getting-any-younger kind of jokes that made many a postcard editing house's fortune, I'm going to answer with just the required background hysterical tone in my voice:
A-ah, ah, ah very funny indeed. Now do you see this deer's head?
And then I'll check the sharpness of my knives on my forearm while starring at them with a slightly mad glint in my eyes, and without a flinch.

That should cut any attempt in the line of “Well, a recent survey showed that at the age of twenty 90% of men have sex four times a week and that by the time they reach 40 they are still capable of telling the same pathetic lie.”, and other “hey the candles cost more than the cake”. Sharpish and shortish.

Defensive? You think I am being defensive? Hey look, do you see this deer's head?

Now, slightly less seriously and hopefully without too much violin, I wish to thank you dear reader for hanging around these parts of the world wide wood, when there's so many other interesting stuff elsewhere, a large proportion of which does not even involve naked human beings at all, and be ready to face whatever I can toss at you, from dead deers' heads to terrorist mime trainers.

And come back the next day nevertheless(2).

I've very much enjoyed your extensive feedback when I asked your advice a couple of weeks ago. I've set my mind on the 30-30 Marlin 336C, as many of you suggested — it was indeed a tough call between her and the Remington 700. I will get me the Remington, though not just now — and I'm now calling the gun shops around, in order to get the best bang for my bucks(3). I'm down to € 730 at the moment, which is very reasonable indeed.

Unless you all rush to tell me this is a stupid idea, I'm thinking of having the following tattooed on the babe:

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
1967 - 2007

I'm still not set on the adrenalin boost, but considering the persistent lousy weather around here, I might have to postpone it anyway: correct me if I'm wrong but the constant rain and cloudy sky would ruin both the Lambo drive and the skydiving.

A-ah, ah, ah very funny indeed. No I am not backing off and do you see that there dead deer?
  1. Try to say that fast, and several times in a row.
  2. This being of course, the real test of your character.
  3. Yeah, pun largely intended I'm afraid.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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To reveal my email address, find the 5th  number in the code and enter it in the challenge field below.

69296

The Wise knows that Cities are but demonic Soul-tearing pits that shall not be entered.

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Comments thread (36)

2751 - Proof

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  • Proof Stockton, Callifornia, USA

Fröliche Geburtstag! In your picture, I see both a "shooty" and a "no shooty"... are we to assume causality between the "shooty" and the deer's head at room temperature? : )

2752 - Sarah

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I'm afraid at this late hour in the American day that my Birthday Wishes sent overseas to you are slightly past due and waxing poetic about the virtues of a fourty year old man are embarassingly redundant. I guess all that is left to do is to go out an smoke a fine cigar under the bright moon to celebrate. Here's to you DF.

2753 - BadCatRobot

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Here is a virtual birthday present for you -- Medieval Siege Weapons! This will permit you to defend your precious boomstick(s) from any fonctionnaires with pitchforks and torches. Plus, they do not emit any greenhouse gases! (large boulders not included).

2754 - SPQR

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Congrats on the deer. That kind of mount can be quite attractive if you get the skull quite white. I was talking to a local taxidermist just last Saturday when we dropped off a pronghorn antelope head for the same process. He was saying that it was important to keep the pH up, plenty of baking soda ie., sodium bicarbonate, would get the pH of the soup up to about 8.

By the way, what rifle did you use on that?

2755 - SisterToldjah

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Happy birthday, DF! Hope it was a good one :)

2756 - G.W.C.

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  • G.W.C. Colorado

Well, okay, so I'm a little late, Happy Birthday anyway Frogman. Range on that shot? Specifics man!

2757 - Spirit51

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  • Spirit51 Windsor, Missouri, U.S.A.

Happy Birthday. I have 14 years on you, so relax, it only gets easier. If you believe that....I have a lovely bridge over Truman Lake I can sell you. LOL

I really enjoy this site. Informative and funny, plus I pick up a few French words I can use on my son in law who is from Belgium. This surprises him much and he is wondering where I am learning some of these words. I have recommended your site and video on the Mime terror training to many people and they love it. I look forward to more of your insight and humor. Again...Happy Birthday. Come to Missouri sometime for deer season....we don't disappoint.

2758 - Civis Proeliator

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  • Civis Proeliator

Hey! T'ain't nothing wrong with dead deer's heads or terrorist mime trainers ("What is that?! What the f*ck is that?!?" rotf!). Nor with turning fourty. Prime time, brother! I shall hoist a good hefe weizen or three in your honor (and mine) today. New Year Babies Unite!

2759 - stinky CHEEZ

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First of all, Happy 40 DF. That decade-al milestone is but a heat mirage in the rear view mirror for me, and the world still spins quite nicely. As you seem to think clearly and slurp the marrow from life's bones, this is probably not even halftime for you.

And OBTW Civis, I believe the 'WTF is that' voiceover is from that fine former Marine R. Lee Ermey from that somewhat fine film Full Metal Jacket...

2760 - missred

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Happy birthday frogman. And many more to come