the dissident frogman

16 years and 7 months ago

Today is my birthday and here's a dead deer's head

Here's the skinny: I'm forty.

the dissident frogman

Necrothreading much?

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As I'm pulling the plug on my roaring thirties, I figured I might as well step outside for a bit of practical art, rather than stay indoors and mourn for my past youth.

So I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon skinning this here dead deer's head(1). (Why? European mount that's why. Now you think twice before calling Col. Ressler on me.)

And to any of my friends and relative who will feel smart enough to drop by, having worked for some time on the you're-not-getting-any-younger kind of jokes that made many a postcard editing house's fortune, I'm going to answer with just the required background hysterical tone in my voice:
A-ah, ah, ah very funny indeed. Now do you see this deer's head?
And then I'll check the sharpness of my knives on my forearm while starring at them with a slightly mad glint in my eyes, and without a flinch.

That should cut any attempt in the line of “Well, a recent survey showed that at the age of twenty 90% of men have sex four times a week and that by the time they reach 40 they are still capable of telling the same pathetic lie.”, and other “hey the candles cost more than the cake”. Sharpish and shortish.

Defensive? You think I am being defensive? Hey look, do you see this deer's head?

Now, slightly less seriously and hopefully without too much violin, I wish to thank you dear reader for hanging around these parts of the world wide wood, when there's so many other interesting stuff elsewhere, a large proportion of which does not even involve naked human beings at all, and be ready to face whatever I can toss at you, from dead deers' heads to terrorist mime trainers.

And come back the next day nevertheless(2).

I've very much enjoyed your extensive feedback when I asked your advice a couple of weeks ago. I've set my mind on the 30-30 Marlin 336C, as many of you suggested — it was indeed a tough call between her and the Remington 700. I will get me the Remington, though not just now — and I'm now calling the gun shops around, in order to get the best bang for my bucks(3). I'm down to € 730 at the moment, which is very reasonable indeed.

Unless you all rush to tell me this is a stupid idea, I'm thinking of having the following tattooed on the babe:

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
1967 - 2007

I'm still not set on the adrenalin boost, but considering the persistent lousy weather around here, I might have to postpone it anyway: correct me if I'm wrong but the constant rain and cloudy sky would ruin both the Lambo drive and the skydiving.

A-ah, ah, ah very funny indeed. No I am not backing off and do you see that there dead deer?
  1. Try to say that fast, and several times in a row.
  2. This being of course, the real test of your character.
  3. Yeah, pun largely intended I'm afraid.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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To reveal my email address, find the 2nd  number in the code and enter it in the challenge field below.

57021

The Wise knows that Cities are but demonic Soul-tearing pits that shall not be entered.

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Comments thread (36)

2761 - the dissident frogman

Comment author avatar
  • the dissident frogman France

Many thanks to you all — and sorry for not following up on the comments sooner, or answering those of you who emailed me.

To make a long story short, my Dad managed to declare a pneumonia, made even worse by a totally incompetent physician (nothing exceptional though: just the "best healthcare system int he world" at work. I wish I could punch that fat f* Michael Moore right now) who treated him for nearly a week with only paracetamol - before that brilliant man of the art finally realized that the heavy fever wasn't going down, whereas his patient was, and fast.

The end result is that I had to rush my Dad to the nearest hospital's emergency service, where they diagnosed the pneumonia, and decided to keep him for further analysis and (hopefully, as this is just another "public service" hospital) the adequate treatment, at last.

At the same time, I had to almost beat my Mom (figuratively of course) into *not* speculating about the big bad "C" word, as she tends to freak out very easily when it comes to these things.

Having said that, my old man really doesn't look good at the moment, and I confess I was quite worried until late this afternoon. That thing got the best of him, and what scared me most was that 1. I've always seen my Dad (like you did yours I bet) to be invincible, and the strongest man in the world and 2. He's always been extremely hard on himself, working like mad, and never taking a rest. Seeing him shaking and so feeble that he could hardly eat his first hospital meal by himself today was really hard to stand.

KL,

What we really want to know is what you did with the rest of the deer.

A huge casserole! Seriously though, as we hunt in pack, we share whatever we kill between the members of the pack. So nobody gets to bring back the whole animal, but at the end of the season, everybody had roughly an equal share of all the meat.

As for the technicalities: that's a young (judging by its teeth) adult male European Roe Deer (Capreolus capreolus), a relatively small animal that (correct me if I'm wrong) can't be found on the American continent. It's more or less the size of a goat, and not particularly bright (at least, compared with the wild boar), though some of the older males have been known to expose quite a bit of cunning. Which is a requisite, if you mean to become an old male in the unforgiving world of Mother Nature.

It was shot at 60/70 meters, give or take, the caliber was 280 rem, and the cartridge provided by Federal Ammunition (Power Shok soft point, 150 grain). Made in the US of A, but that goes without saying.

Our friend Proof who demonstrated his expertise in spotting the shooty and no shooty cartridges in the picture, and make the right deduction with respect to the deer's head at room temperatures, wins a fine cigar with Sarah under the bright moon — lucky, lucky, lucky he.

Time to take sides

2762 - floridasuzie

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  • floridasuzie Florida

Happy Birthday and I will keep your Dad in my prayers.

Suzie

2763 - Mitch Townsend

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  • Mitch Townsend Wakefield, Massachusetts, USA

Happy birthday, Froggie!

Good decision on that rifle. A .30-30 is a little underpowered, but a good utility rifle. The Remington is available in various calibers; may I suggest the .30 magnum? If you can see it, that rifle can hit it. American snipers love that rifle in its military configuration as the M24. Bolt action is not so much of a problem when you are likely to get only one shot. If you get a different caliber with a shorter cartridge, you are likely to be annoyed at the long throw of the bolt action.

2764 - SPQR

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DF, our best wishes for your father's speedy recovery. I've been there guy, and know what you are going through.

You are right, the red deer is not found on the North American continent. But we have some species that are similar.

2765 - JihadGene

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  • JihadGene North Korea, Central California

Dear Dis-Froggy,

Forget the Ruger Mini 14, as it has a two stage trigger pull, and you must keep your trigger elbow up (if right-handed shooty shooter, then shooter must have right elbow up)...left is left...savy? The Ruger Mini-14 SUCKS/TOO MANY RULES.... and is a pain in a dead deer's ass to shooty, should you forget it's marksmanship requirements!... If you shooty all kinds of cool rifles/boomsticks and a 30-30 Marlin ain't your cup of tea (not a big enough shooty) then score (get/steal, or buy) a Ruger carbine semi-auto 44 mag. It will give you many years of dead deer heads in heavy brush at close range.

2766 - Civis Proeliator

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  • Civis Proeliator

"And OBTW Civis, I believe the 'WTF is that' voiceover is from that fine former Marine R. Lee Ermey from that somewhat fine film Full Metal jacket..."

stinky...

::grinz:: Yeah, I know. Just liked the way it was inserted into the vid. Makes me chuckle everytime I watch it.

2769 - SisterToldjah

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DF, I hope your dad is feeling better today, and gets well soon.

2770 - referman

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  • referman plattsburgh ny

Hope your pops is doing well,and a Happy B day.Nice deer.I havn't been up to camp yet,my brother inlaw says we got signs of at least one black bear.They been eatin good off the apple piles and berry's.Do you get any thing that resembles a coy dog.We seem to be getting alot around here.They run the deer off.Last year while fishing we came across a new born deer,still had some of the belly cord attached.The things ya see when you forgot the camera..Good day to you sir...

2771 - Kathleen

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  • Kathleen North Carolina

Get well wishes for your Dad.

2772 - Iwo Gina

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  • Iwo Gina Maryland

I hope that your father will soon have a swift recovery. Happy belated birthday. I hope the venison stew will be tasty!

Iwo Gina