I'm bummed - they called me a "Journalist." Whom should I sue?
No, wait...the description is better. "Understands other people's motivations; looks at life like a story." But since when do professional journalists understand anything beyond their own navels? I'll have to invent a new, cooler label for the description - something like Frogman's "Knight-Errant." "I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds!"