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I never knew Lizette Mendoza. Yet I know you and I will never forget the day she died.Until a few weeks ago, I wasn't even familiar with her name - and I only learned about her when, at the end of the signup process at D.C. Roe's "2,996", the system randomly pulled Lizette's name out of the list of 9/11 victims:
Lizette Mendoza, age 33.
Place killed: World Trade Center. Resident of North Bergen, N.J. (USA).
Lizette Mendoza will be honored by the dissident frogman at the blog the dissident frogman: time to take sides. This was the 1209th blogger to sign up for the 2,996 Tribute project.
Lizette's age struck me. I remember thinking that, at 33 in 2001, she was just a few months - a year at most - younger than me. Thus I could already relate more closely to her in the way we relate to people of our own respective generations: simply because we witness the same chunk of the world's history at the same age, and therefore, with a similar understanding, references and common memories.
I then started to search more information on Lizette, although I must confess, quite reluctantly. Don't get me wrong: I regard D.C. Roes' initiative as nothing short of admirable, and I was - and remain - very keen on learning more about Lizette Mendoza.
Yet the context of her disappearance, and the nature of her personality in that context, put me in a rather uncomfortable situation, between my desire to picture a faithful image of Lizette's life and the nearly sacred value in which I hold people's right to privacy - starting with the deceased, and their family - in an age where we tend to expect everything about everybody to show up in Google.
Lizette Mendoza wasn't a public personality - who, almost by definition, concede part of their privacy to the public - and her name shows in search engines for a single, grim and dramatic reason.
Therefore, as I was looking for information on her life (rather fruitlessly as we shall see) I was growing all the more convinced that relating - or keeping - facts and anecdotes to honor her memory should be the sole privilege and choice of her family and friends, and not that of a complete stranger on his website, no matter how well-intentioned I might be.
There is on the Internet - and fortunately in a sense - not much personal information to be found on Lizette Mendoza. Here and there, people who knew her shared small snippets of their relationship. According to Lucy Gomez, who signed Lizette Mendoza's profile at september11victims.com, she:
( ) went to Norman Thomas High School [and] graduated in 1985.
Fred Wittenberg knew Lizette through their business dealings, and he misses her optimism and laughter.
Elaine in New York was in the same classes with Lizette and couldn't understand why something kept drawing her to their yearbook until she found that Lizette had signed it, wishing her "Good luck in the future".
Jose Camacho, Lizette's younger cousin, remembers that
Her smile was so warm and caring that you felt completely at ease in her presence.
And also how she was "filled with joy and pride" when he told her about his plans after college at a Christmas party.
Niurka Mendoza will "never forget the fun time" they shared together, while Sharmilla Sinanan, who worked with Lizette in 1996 remembers that she was a
( ) passionate, energetic woman and a devoted mother to her children.
Indeed, and as confirmed by her friend Alexandra Murillo, Lizette Mendoza was the young mother of two boys -- and there is nothing here that can begin to express the devastating burden laid on these kids' shoulders by her disappearance. To paraphrase an aphorism wrongly attributed to Plato, and no matter how cruel her loss is as an individual, at least Lizette has seen the end of the war.
But her children have to live through it, and without her.
Finally, Lizette worked at Aon Corporation, on the 105th floor of the WTC, where she met her end on September 11, 2001.
This is pretty much all one can learn about her online - without being too intrusive.
And I believe this is pretty much all we need to remember and honor her.
For if the web doesn't really tell me who Lizette Mendoza was as a person, it actually tells me a lot about who she is as a symbol: an industrious and independent woman, dedicated to her family and self-improvement, and laying her own plans in her pursuit of happiness, free of any arbitrary rule, either political, tribal or theocratic.
As such, Lizette Mendoza is part of the very fabric of the West -- and even more so of America's.
More than smug Hollywood celebrities or the inconsistent politicians we keep hearing and seeing in our own media, the wide majority of our civilization is made of people like Lizette Mendoza. This is what you will find at the roots of the unique nature of the West. And this is what makes any attack on them particularly heinous - even more than the fact that she was an innocent, unarmed and unprepared civilian.
In May 2003, a Marines unit returned a flag that had flown at the World Trade Center to the New York Port Authority. Among the Marines at the ceremony was Lizette's brother, Sgt. Charles Rodriguez who said:
"With time, slowly you heal, but you never forget"
Five years on, and with all due respect to Sgt. Rodriguez, I hope he is healing, yet still not forgetting.
Five years on, as we begin to witness what looks like a lack of resolve from the political leadership side, in Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel and Europe - and particularly in the face of renewed threats from Iran - I find myself frequently wondering if the Marines doubt sometimes.
I'd bet they do, sometimes, although maybe less frequently than the rest of us - and certainly less than those who claim to rule us - being the men of resolve they are. After all, while capable of superhuman feats, they remain humans.
Five years on, if they do indeed doubt why they fight, considering their losses in the initial attack on New York and Washington or in the battles that ensued in Afghanistan and Iraq, then there is only one thing I'd like to tell them:
If in doubt, remember Lizette Mendoza.
There are many other people to remember, and many people remember them individually today: please read the tributes to the 9/11 victims, in addition to this one.
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