the dissident frogman

16 years and 7 months ago

Monkey buttocks ♠ Fesses de macaque

the dissident frogman

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I don't know about you but the dissident frogman quit smoking four years ago.

I considered the idea several years and eventually decided to stop one morning. Just like that.

No drugs, no pills, no expert tricks.
Willpower and that's it.

I was a heavy smoker. Somewhere between 40 and 60 fags a day, igniting my breakfast for champions first thing at 5:30 in the morning, almost before getting up. Talk about a real dead (quit smoking) duck.

What's more, I quit while people were smoking around me and I've always been fine with that. No problems as far as you stick to your decision and move dead (quit smoking) ahead.

That will be my friendly advice to those tempted to follow my tracks: the rest of the world is not going to quit just because you do. Live with it, stop the dead (quit smoking) cats and don't be dead (quit smoking) boring.

But of course, there are times when one can get pretty jumpy. Particularly, in my experience, the first week. That's when you need a way to die (quit smoking) down. Dead(quit smoking)-drunkenness won't help, unless you signed on the Charybdis-Scylla Magical Misery Tour but I found a fun, cheap, addictive (well...) and effective way to relax.

Spank the monkey.

It helps, really. Look at me: I did it and I didn't turn into one of those anti-tobacco-former-smoker Nazi.
You know them, the "I've-been-through-this-so-I-know" evangelists.

Loathsome pricks I tell you.

So be cool and spank the monkey. Let's see if you can beat the frogman's score.


Show us how fast you can spank that monkey.
A quelle vitesse fessez-vous le macaque?
UPDATE:
Dave W. just wrote:
ok, now that you helped me waste 45 minutes...
And attached his score.

He probably quit yesterday. Or two hours ago.

Take it easy Dave. The first week seems interminable but you can make it.

Keep spanking the monkey and you'll be fine.
UPDATE II
Well it did smell like anti-tobacco-Nazi conspiracy.
But what really bothers me anyway is when the legislator meddles in.

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Vous, je ne sais pas, mais le dissident frogman a cessé de fumer il y a quatre ans.

J'ai envisagé l'idée pendant plusieurs années et finalement décidé d'arrêter un matin. Comme ça, simplement.

Pas de médication, pas de patch, pas de 'truc'.
De la volonté et c'est tout.

J'étais un gros fumeur. Quelque part entre 40 et 60 clopes par jour, allumant le p'tit déj' des champions dès 5:30 le matin, le premier pied à peine posé hors du lit. Cadavre (cessez de fumer) à peine ambulant.

De plus, j'ai arrêté au milieu de fumeurs et n'ai jamais eu de problème avec ça. Il suffit de s'en tenir à sa décision et d'avancer. Ne pas rester au point mort (cessez de fumer).

Amical conseil à ceux qui seraient tentés de suivre mes traces : le reste du monde ne va pas cesser de fumer parce que vous le faites. Alors évitez d'être chiant comme la mort (cessez de fumer) pour votre entourage.

Cela dit, on peut parfois se sentir un poil tendu. Particulièrement, selon ma propre expérience, la première semaine. Picoler jusqu'à la phase terminale (cessez de fumer) n'aidera pas, à moins que vous n'ayez signé sur le Charybde-Scylla Magical Misery Tour, mais j'ai trouvé un façon amusante, gratuite, addictive (bon...) et efficace de se relaxer.

Fessez le macaque.

Ca aide, vraiment. Moi par exemple : j'y suis arrivé et je ne suis pas devenu l'un de ces nazis ancien-fumeur-anti-tabac.
Vous voyez le genre. L'évangéliste "J'ai-vécu-ça-alors-je-sais".

Détestables connards, c'est moi qui vous le dit.

Alors soyez cool et fessez le macaque. Voyons si vous pouvez battre le score de frogman.


President Chirac would love to beat the frogman's score.
Le Président Chirac aimerait battre le score de frogman.
MISE A JOUR
Dave W. vient de m'écrire:
ok, maintenant que vous m'avez aidé à gaspiller 45 minutes...
Avec son score en attachment.

Il a probablement arrêté hier. Ou même il y a deux heures.

Restez calme Dave. La première semaine semble interminable mais vous pouvez y arriver.

Continuez de fesser le macaque et tout ira bien.
MISE A JOUR II
Bon, cela sentait vraiment la manigance de nazi-anti-tabac.
Mais ce qui me gêne vraiment dans l'absolu, c'est quand le législateur s'en mêle.

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