Read my lips

12 years and one month ago

Read my lips

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It's a "give and ye shall receive" moment.

I act like a silly fool, to ridicule a bunch of serious fools, and you get a kick out of it. In return, I get a kick out of your comments, both on this blog and on the big wide web (in particular, I see it's making the rounds [no shooty pun] on military, outdoor and gun owners' forums).

Things like that for instance:
"Whoever he is, the Dissident Frogman is a cultural- perhaps genetic- anomaly."
Whoever he is, Bacon Guy means that as a compliment. I think.
"I gotta learn me how to catch the ejected round. Coolest thing I've seen today."
Easy. In this - as in many other things in fact - I follow the great Thomas Jefferson's advice: "Let your gun therefore be the constant companion of your walks." Live with the rifle (before you could even pretend to live by it), handle it and practice until it feels as comfortable in your hands as any other tool (And don't mind the uneasy looks from your relatives)

It's a long way, and I'm not there myself (far, far from it), even though I begin to have a reasonable rate of success in the allegedly catchy trick of catching the ejected brass. Those who watched the whole clip (i.e. who didn't leave the theater during the end credits) know what I mean by "reasonable rate of success".
"You know, I gotta like a dude that put an Aimpoint on what looks like an 8mm Remington Mag… Talk about up-close and personal shooting…"
It's a cultural thing, the result of the way we hunt feral pigs in my neck of the woods: very fast and up-close action. Sometimes really, really fast and really, really close, as in "2cm to the left and you had the boar's tusk up your femoral artery" close.

Plus I literally live by the late Colonel Cooper's basic principle of the field marksman: 1. If you can get closer, get closer. 2. If you can get steadier, get steadier.
"You know…some of the coolest people I've met have been Frenchies who headed west and became Americans. (…) What is the saying about the converts being the more Catholic than the Pope?"
Ah! I'm not even American yet but I'd eat Popes with both hands tied just to become one, you know.
"I'd like that gun (and that gunner) for home defence here in Winnipeg. Doubt I could bring it in legally, however. Canada is fussy about guns in the hands of the non-criminal classes."
Two words: move South.
"Seriously, this guy needs to be shown on Fox just to mock the rest."
Rupert Murdoch if you read this, drop me an email.
"He, ummm, how you say, performs an elegant melody of post-modern movement to an eclectic beat of a different drummer, with a hint of abstract assembliage with his artistic tools, whilst le-education of AFP-Agence Frances Presse is dished out with an aromatic blend of french saucy satire and monty python hyjinx, in a Marcel Marceau kinda way..."
Yep, that's me. Totally.
"My only regret is that that HISTORIC bit of video is Flash Player & not an mpeg or wmp. I would download aplenty."
Since you're not the only one to deplore that, you'll be happy to know that I'm working to fix that. Stay tuned.

And my favorite so far:
"I bet the French government is wetting themselves now that it's confirmed there's a mime running around the country with a boomstick and a box of cartridges."
Picture the worried faces at the Quai d'Orsay? I do.

Anyway, the feedback is globally really good, so it means two things:

- I'm working out a slightly augmented version to upload to YouTube, and let this baby go viral - if that's his destiny. No extra stunt, just a couple of screens to make it clear what the video is about. The context, and the original AFP 'news' is explained in the blog post, but once the clip go and lives a life of his own on YouTube, the context is lost - as well as the feedback as far as I'm concerned, one of the reasons why I'm not too big on YouTube and such, but that's another story.

- It's very — very — low-tech. I don't even have a DV cam, and I shot this with the motion video capture of my Panasonic DMC-FZ20. I add to that a weird portable lightning device (see photo below) survivor of the analogical ages of 16 mm moviemaking, that I bought years ago on a garage sale for a few peanuts, without really knowing if I would ever use it. I just thought it was a funny looking thing. It proved useful in the end, since in video as in photography, good lightning can make a world of a difference.

I'm quite certain that Bin Laden's zombie, over there in his cave has a better equipment for his biannual "Keep faith oh my brothers for America will soon be destroyed" broadcasts.

The balaclava I bought on Ebay for a handful of euros. Acting like a clown comes naturally, to the lasting grief of my dear Mother who long hoped I would become a lawyer or a teacher. You know how Mothers are.

So it's cheap, and fun to do. I'd say you can expect more.

And to think that I viscerally hate mimes…


Hey, where's all the stuff?

I am rebuilding the site from the ground up.

As of October 15, 2019, only basic blogging is implemented.

Features that were previously available—and a bunch of new ones—are still under (re)construction, and will be deployed gradually as soon as they are ready. That includes the site-wide search engine, the blogroll, membership registration and, well, more...

So all the stuff is coming back?

Yes, thank you for your patience.

Note that some of the legacy content (anything I published before the current redesign) may not display as expected—this will be addressed in the future.


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  • Unchristened The Void

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Comments thread (23)

  • Comment author avatar
  • Iwo Gina Maryland

DF: I think that this may be the start of something big for you… Destiny came a-knockin’ on your door and you had the guts to answer. I find myself in the humble position of being able to say “I knew him when…” Well done!

Iwo Gina :coolsmile:

  • Comment author avatar
  • Harlock

Naaaah, it can’t be !?

If you need help shooting (no shooty) video clip, you’re welcome !

I think you’ve became someone’s heroes…

Thanks to you, froggy bro’.

  • Comment author avatar
  • NevadaDailySteve Nevada, Missouri

I notice they referred to you as a French ‘terrorist mime’. They obviously didn’t watch the video through to the end. I love the video, and it appears as if most of America agrees. Congrats!

  • Comment author avatar
  • AD&A;

That was very, very funny.

Thank you, I have passed it on and hope many , many people watch it.

  • Comment author avatar
  • Valerie, Texas


Wonderful to see you getting so much attention and appreciation of your work!

Long, long over-due.

Yes, let this be the start of a great wave of good things that sends you to the shores of America!

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  • Kathleen North Carolina

Silly, but so well done.  Here’s hoping some of the serious fools receive the link in their email.  !

Thanks for the giggles.

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  • TBinSTL St Louis MO USA

I’ve been a fan of this site and your work for so long that I can’t tell you how gratifying it is to find that there are others out there that now understand. I have held this site up as both an example of great commentary and the very best of blog design for anyone that would listen and now I will get something other than blank stares when I do so! I hope your servers are up to the load!

  • Comment author avatar
  • hogs123

you’re french how’d that happen..

wife says: wish more french were like you

number two son says: you are almost as cool JEAN RENO

number one son says: For a frog you’re ok

  • Comment author avatar
  • Grimmy Where I'm at.

Lemme see if I got this right.

You got a highlight on AFP for producing a very cool vid about how stupid the AFP is?

That’s like a real solid twofer.

Anyhoo, the Committee has reviewed your testimony and come to a decision. You appeared to be too comfortable with a general sort of mimeyness. Therefore, the Department of Anti-Mimeinization will be keeping an eye on you.

It shouldn’t be too intrusive. The eye is only about 9 centimeters across and tends to stay just over your shoulder. Oh, yeah…nearly forgot. Please refrain from cooking spicy foods while under observation of our eye. This new model is allergic to pepper.

Where does the light go, when the light goes out?

  • Comment author avatar
  • shezz from the land of Oz

I thought it the video was wonderful. I showed it to my teenage children as part of educating them that what we hear and see in the media must be taken with a grain of salt and verified from many sources. My husband thinks that you should be on the payroll of various governments teaching the media how to properly fake things like the bombing of ambulances and so on

  • Comment author avatar
  • zoomiepipe

You’ve got to turn this character you’ve created into a regular thing.  If you could come up with a series of clips with this character “miming” criticisms of various topical issues, it could really catch on.  The dress, the mannerism, the subject matter - it’s hilarious!

  • Comment author avatar
  • Grimmy Where I'm at.


And there it is. You and folk like yourself are why society and civilization hasn’t collapsed yet. Parents taking the time to make sure their kids have a clue.

Where does the light go, when the light goes out?

  • Comment author avatar
  • the dissident frogman France

Well, let’s keep our heads cool people, we’re not headed for the Oscar ceremony (Yet? Imagine a French terrorist mime among the Beverly Hillbillies…) - even though I’m very happy with the, er, fallout.

So, here’s a bit of would-be Oscar speech:

Thanks to all of you for the compliments - and for spreading my clowneries around, as the only currency I’m being paid with is feedback (that usually comes straight from the Linkage Bank).

Thanks to those of you who didn’t give up on me during the past year’s long hiatus - while I was busy following misleading and treacherous career trails. I won’t start naming names, you know who you are.

Of course, I suspect there is a slight contradiction in terms between a “mime” and an Oscar “speech”, but what the hell.


That’s decided already: the black balaclaved French terrorist will return.

People seem to like him, and as a good Capitalist, I always cater for the demand…

Time to take sides

  • Comment author avatar
  • Ms.ManChow Maryland

The news reporters become the news makers.  Again.  If only everyone would see the gullibility of the leftist press they might, perhaps become more discerning and critical of the reports they believe.  It’s very much like the junk from Lebanon last year and all the “fake but true” reporting.

Thank you again for making the obvious blaringly obvious, for ridiculing the ridiculous.

...mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent… Adam Smith

  • Comment author avatar
  • drzz


Je voudrais savoir si tu serais intéressé par faire un partenariat avec le blog drzz :

  • Comment author avatar
  • the dissident frogman France

drzz : quel genre de partenariat ?

Time to take sides

  • Comment author avatar
  • Sarah

Dearest Mr. Frogman,

Please do not assume that you lack of undressing has left your movie bereft of sexual appeal.  Dressed like a terrorist or not, I find myself having no trouble relating with my instructor in a positive way.  Pointy aplenty indeed.  Frogman you are somethin’ else.

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  • nyexpat left coast

OK, Yes I laughed all the way through it, althogh one wonders if it might still be somewhat beyond the ability of AFP to follow; since obviously they were hiding under the table once they was the boomstick!

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  • 2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania

All that prosletizing I did during your sabbatical was totally worth it! And people thought I was sending them to a dead link. Putzs.

Una Salus Victus Nullam Sperare Salutem

  • Comment author avatar
  • the dissident frogman France

Well now, dear Sarah, you’ve got me all blushy under the balaclava.

Time to take sides

  • Comment author avatar
  • Robicon East Coast

The funniest thing I’ve seen in a long, long time.  Keep up the good work.

  • Comment author avatar
  • shezz from the land of Oz

Thanks Grimmy,

I do my best.

  • Comment author avatar
  • Faye_Valentine Minnesota, USA

lol!  Dont be surprised if you get phone calls from the Mid East wanting you to be a spokesmodel for their cause.  I believe the great intellectual and humanitarian Paris Hilton once said, “That’s hot.”  ^_^

Indeed Paris.  Indeed.

“Never trust a Hippie. We said it a long time ago and it’s not really changed. And these [Rolling Stone - Ed] are hippies with laptops.” — John Lydon (AKA Johnny Rotten) on Rolling Stone magazine.