the dissident frogman

The Revenge of the Me

Le Moi : le Retour

the dissident frogman 17 years and 6 months ago

Necrothreading much?

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Introducing the dissident frogman, version 3.0. Larger, stronger, with even more hell-raiser-live-free-or-die tattoos and more napalm-pisser hair on the chest.The Me(1) is back.

It took way much longer than I expected, and at times, it felt like it would never happen. Indeed, I hope that your past 18 months were nowhere near as crappy as mine.

And I'm not just talking about the time when I lost the (nearly complete) design, due to a flawed file transfer, and then there was no recent (enough) backup available, and I almost drown under that huge gut-wrenching wave of discouragement, you know, the sort that makes you really sick in your stomach at the thought of all the work that's lost, and all the work that needs to be done again if you ever mean to get back to where you were right before you pushed the horrible, horrible button of death, two.frikkin'.minutes.ago. Plus you know that blaming God is not really going to help anyway, no matter how good it may temporarily feel to put the responsibility on someone else.

I must confess that at this point, I sat back, opened a can of Bud(2), took a long sip and thought: “Okay, that's it. I'm done with this effin' frogman thing. I'm not doing all this stuff again. It's dead. The frogman is DEAD. Dead as a Dodo retired in France and "enjoying" its Social Security regime.”

The odd thing however, was that even though I had pretty much stopped putting anything of value on the blog for long periods of time, I was still getting emails from total strangers telling me how much they loved the site, and how they wished I'd start posting again.

Including, yes, that one from Suzie, telling me among other things that my my sense of humor helped her many times going through her teenage son's death. If Suzie reads this, as I hope, I wish to let her know that in addition to making me the honor of sharing such personal grief, she managed to render me totally speechless (yep, that's quite an exploit) — You see, with my level of written English it's quite easy to crack a joke every now and then, but it's a completely different story to answer such a tragedy at such a personal level. Somehow, "Thanks for your email, I feel sorry for your loss." sounds more insulting than anything else.

So as you read this, I'd like to ask you to spare a thought or a prayer for Suzie, and her departed son, whom I will not name here, unless Suzie allows me so.

Passed the emotion, the next question was: "Sure, it's just a blog, among millions of blogs, and there is a lot of brilliant and funny people out there to make out for the void, if I am to leave any void at all. But how the hell could I quit on someone like Suzie?"

And how do you quit on people you've never known, telling you how they miss you?

That made it. Those isolated emails were the sparks I needed to get back to work, and rebuild the whole thing, almost from the ground up.

So if you read this, and are happy to see me again, don't thank me: thank Suzie and a few other people with her.

They did all the serious work.
  1. It's just that it's shorter than "the dissident frogman". And it has a rather more "personal" feel to it. You know, less of that "Oh, he's talking about himself at the third person again.”
  2. If — and I mean "if" — I feel like drinking some alcoholic beverage while working, which is very rarely (and in fact, only when I've just lost several months worth of work), I use to drink Bud. That's because it's very light, and therefore never turns me into a drooling imbecile after the first half of the bottle. I have many good things to say about America, as you know if you're a regular around, but I have to admit that Monty Pythons were spot on with their joke "(American beer) is like making love in a canoe(3)". Not that there is anything wrong with that, as far as I am concerned(4).
  3. "It's fucking close to water", for those of you who don't know their classics.
  4. The beer, I mean. As for the rest, I'm a frogman. I'm totally in my element with any activity involving large volumes of water, in a canoe or under it(5).
  5. "Hey Babe, ever done it with flippers?"(6).
  6. That's it. That's the last footnote-inna-footnote for today.

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Voici le dissident frogman version 3.0. Plus grand, plus fort, avec plus de tatouages de furieux façon vivre-libre-ou-mourir et plus de poil de pisseur de napalm sur le torse.Le Moi(1) est de retour.

Ça aura pris bien plus longtemps que je ne le souhaitais, et par moment, j'ai même cru que ça n'allait jamais arriver. J'espère en effet que vos derniers 18 mois n'ont pas été aussi foireux que les miens.

Et je ne parle pas seulement de la fois où j'ai perdu tout le boulot de design, en raison d'un transfert de fichier manqué, et alors que le dernier backup disponible se trouvait être par trop ancien. J'ai bien cru succomber à cette énorme lame de fond du découragement, qui vous part des tripes pour s'abattre sur vos épaules ; vous savez, le genre qui vous rends vraiment malade à l'idée de tout le travail perdu, et de tout ce qu'il y aura à refaire si vous envisagez vraiment de revenir au point où vous en étiez il y a seulement deux satanées minutes, quand vous avez poussé cette saloperie de bouton de la mort. En plus, vous sentez bien que s'en prendre à Dieu n'arrangera rien, même si ça fait temporairement du bien de faire porter le chapeau à quelqu'un d'autre.

J'avoue qu'à ce moment là, je me suis laissé aller sur le dossier du fauteuil, j'ai ouvert une Bud(2), pris une longue gorgée, et me suis dit : “Okay, c'est bon. Fini le frogman. Je ne vais pas refaire tout le boulot. C'est mort. Le frogman est MORT. Mort comme un Dodo retraité en France et "bénéficiant" de son régime de Sécurité Sociale.”

Le truc bizarre cependant, c'est qu'alors même que je n'avais pas posté grand chose d'intéressant pendant de longues périodes, je continuais de recevoir des emails de parfaits inconnus, me disant combien ils aimaient le blog, et combien ils souhaitaient que je recommence à poster des articles.

Des emails comme celui de Suzie par exemple, m'écrivant entre autres choses que mon sens de l'humour l'avait à plusieurs reprises aidé à surmonter la mort de son jeune fils. Si Suzie lis ceci, comme je l'espère, je tiens à lui dire qu'en sus de l'honneur qu'elle ma fait de partager un tel chagrin personnel, elle a aussi réussi à me laisser totalement sans voix (ouais, c'est un exploit) — Avec mon niveau d'anglais voyez-vous, c'est assez facile de balancer une blague à droite et à gauche, mais c'est autre chose de répondre à une telle tragédie personnelle. Quelque part, j'ai l'impression que "Merci pour votre email. Toutes mes condoléances." est plus insultant qu'autre chose.

Aussi, comme vous lisez ceci, je vous demande de partager une pensée ou une prière pour Suzie, et son fils décédé, que je ne nommerai pas ici, à moins qu'elle ne me l'autorise.

L'émotion passée, la question qui s'est posée ensuite était de cette nature : "Bien sur, ce n'est qu'un blog parmi des millions de blogs ; et il y a un tas de gens brillant et marrant pour remplir le vide, si tant est que je laisse un vide quelconque. Mais comment pourrais-je, moi, laisser tomber des gens comme Suzie ?"

Et comment laisser tomber des gens que vous n'avez jamais vus, mais qui vous écrivent pour vous dire combien vous leur manquez ?

Voilà. Ces emails isolés ont été autant d'étincelles pour me renvoyer sur l'établi, et reconstruire tout l'édifice, pratiquement de la cave au grenier.

Alors si vous lisez ceci et êtes content de me revoir, ne me remerciez pas : remerciez plutôt Suzie et quelques autres avec elle.

Ils ont fait tout le plus dur du boulot.
  1. C'est plus court que "the dissident frogman". Et ça a une touche plus "personnelle". Vous savez, moins "Oh, il parle encore de lui à la troisième personne".
  2. Si — et je dis bien "si" — j'ai envie de boire alcoolisé pendant le travail, ce qui n'arrive que très rarement (en fait, seulement quand je perds plusieurs mois de travail d'un coup), je bois de la Bud. C'est léger, et ça ne me transforme donc pas en idiot baveur à la demi-bouteille. Même si j'ai beaucoup de bonnes choses à dire sur l'Amérique, comme vous le savez sans doute si vous trainez souvent dans le coin, je dois admettre que les Monty Pythons tapent dans le mille avec leur vanne "(American beer) is like making love in a canoe(3)". Pas que ça me dérange, cela dit.
  3. "It's fucking close to water". La blague n'est pas vraiment traduisible. Je sais bien que les Europédophiles de l'Eradication Nationale vous ont bien baisé en vous faisant prendre Allemand première langue, mais rien ne vous empêche d'y remédier par vous même.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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To reveal my email address, find the 1st  number in the code and enter it in the challenge field below.

43370

The Wise knows that Cities are but demonic Soul-tearing pits that shall not be entered.

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Related

Random (somewhat) related entries

  1. Today is my birthday and here’s a dead deer’s head
  2. one, two, three
  3. Potshots at the gun shop
  4. Thou hath not posted in Two Weeks
  5. Surface, dive

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The Wise knows that Cities are but demonic Soul-tearing pits that shall not be entered.

Comments thread (6)

1960 - Boogs

Comment author avatar

  • Boogs Airmont, NY

Welcome back, I love what you've done with the place!

  • June 09th 2007
  • @ 1130 ZULU

1961 - erp

Comment author avatar

Bon chance with the great looking new site. Greetings from Florida.

  • June 09th 2007
  • @ 2020 ZULU

1987 - rick diehl

Comment author avatar

Hello Frogman

You and thousands of other bloggers will never know how many lives you impact with your wit, insights and links to articles that we would never have found on our own.

Allen "The Skipper" Kelly of Barking Moonbats passed away a couple of weeks ago. Although I had never even spoken to the man, I had to shed a few tears. I had been reading his site for some time every day. He pointed out the news behind the news, where it was comming from and where it was all headed to.

No matter what happens DON'T QUIT! Take a break for a while like you have done but never give up.

Rick

  • June 12th 2007
  • @ 2119 ZULU

1992 - floridasuzie

Comment author avatar

  • floridasuzie Florida

Frogman,

>Including, yes, that one from Suzie, telling me among other things that my my sense of humor helped her many times going through her teenage son's death. If Suzie reads this, as I hope, I wish to let her know that in addition to making me the honor of sharing such personal grief, she managed to render me totally speechless (yep, that's quite an exploit) — You see, with my level of written English it's quite easy to crack a joke every now and then, but it's a completely different story to answer such a tragedy at such a personal level. Somehow, "Thanks for your email, I feel sorry for your loss." sounds more insulting than anything else.

So as you read this, I'd like to ask you to spare a thought or a prayer for Suzie, and her departed son, whom I will not name here, unless Suzie allows me so.

Passed the emotion, the next question was: "Sure, it's just a blog, among millions of blogs, and there is a lot of brilliant and funny people out there to make out for the void, if I am to leave any void at all. But how the hell could I quit on someone like Suzie?"<

Wow, I never expected to read about me on here, I nearly fell out of my chair - but in a good way :) Thanks for your kind words, I certainly appreciate the prayers and yes, it's fine to print my son's name - Sam. The new site is spectacular, I appreciate all your hard work and am so glad you're in for the long haul!

Suzie

  • June 15th 2007
  • @ 0746 ZULU

2001 - the dissident frogman

Comment author avatar

  • the dissident frogman France

Suzie: I'm so glad to have you around. I know I shall apologize for the chair incident, but since you fired first in that respect, I consider it only fair to return the favor.

Here's to Sam and you. And again, thank you. A lot.

Erp, Boogs: thanks for the welcome guys. I hope to live up to your expectations.

Rick: I knew about Barking Moonbats (or Barking Moonbats Early Warning System), but being away from the keyboard and the blogosphere long enough, not about Allan Kelly's passing - and a sad news it is indeed.

Time to take sides
  • June 18th 2007
  • @ 0535 ZULU

2008 - Rowina Dequina

Comment author avatar

Good to see you back--I was surprised and happy to see the link from Pajamas. The site is beautiful, and I can't wait for more.

  • June 20th 2007
  • @ 0535 ZULU
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