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Now I can tell you what's the worse of the Mummy's Curse: to come back from the dead as a provider of ~~cheap chills~~ "highly commercial, low-budget, horror movies for a worldwide teenage audience."

Don't get me wrong: there's nothing bad in going commercial, there's nothing wrong with low-budget movies whatever the style, and particularly horror ones. I have a special fondness for low-budget horror and sci-fi movies.

Who saw Exterminators of the Year 3000 three times and Hell of the Living Dead until the very last second of the ending titles, back in the 80s?

Me, that's who.

But the Hammer House of Horror, now this is something different than the best of the worst (yep, that's enthusiastic) Italian or Spanish trip into the tripes of the late 70s/80s.
It's a legend. It's a monument. It's a cult. Hell, it's British.

It's the Mother of All Houses of Horror.

Charles Saatchi, Neil Mendoza and their team of investors bought the name, and until we can watch their first productions and see what they're making out of it, it's not a bad thing at all.
I just hope they'll choose to catch the spirit as well, and push it further.

But I must admit that since it starts with such a penchant for the "teenage audience", I'm a bit worried that Dr Frankenstein may give up on finding a brain and have Igor focus on "other parts" of the monster's raw material.

Hammer House of Teens 2003: Frankenstein's Creature meets the Mummy in an Internet chat room moderated by Dracula, gets flooded with penis enlargement spam to which she eventually answers -- that's the Curse at work -- in the hope she can regain the love of the Bride who ran away with the Werewolf?

Hey wait a minute.

That could be entertaining.

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Maintenant, je peux vous réveler le pire de la Malédiction de la Momie : revenir d'entre les morts comme fournisseurs de ~~frissons au rabais~~ "films d'horreur à haute valeur commerciale et petit budget pour une audience mondiale de teenagers."

Ne vous méprenez pas sur mon compte : il n'y a rien de mal à rechercher la haute valeur commerciale, il n'y a rien de mal avec les films à petit budget quel qu'en soit le genre, et particulièrement ceux d'horreur. J'ai une affection particulière pour les films d'horreur et de science-fiction à petit budget.

Qui a vu Les Exterminateurs de l'An 3000 à trois reprises et l'Enfer des Morts Vivants jusqu'à la dernière seconde du générique de fin, pendant les années 80 ?

Moi, voila qui.

Mais la Maison de l'Horreur de la Hammer c'est autre chose que le meilleur des pires (ouais, c'est enthousiaste) transports dans la tripaille italien ou espagnol de la fin des années 70 ou 80.
C'est une légende. C'est un monument. C'est un culte. Bon sang, c'est british.

C'est la Mère de Toutes les Maisons de l'Horreur.

Charles Saatchi, Neil Mendoza et leur groupe d'investisseurs ont acheté le nom et, jusqu'à ce que nous puissions visionner leurs premières productions et voir ce qu'ils en font, il n'y a absolument rien de mal à cela.
J'espère simplement qu'ils choisiront aussi d'en saisir l'esprit et de le pousser plus loin.

Mais je dois admettre que, démarrant avec un tel penchant pour "l'audience de teenagers", je m'inquiète du fait que le Dr Frankenstein puisse laisser tomber la recherche du cerveau pour forcer Igor à se concentrer sur "d'autres parties" de la matière première devant constituer le monstre.

la Maison des Teenagers de la Hammer, 2003 : la Créature de Frankenstein rencontre la Momie dans un chat sur l'Internet modéré par Dracula, est submergée de spam proposant des méthodes de développement du pénis auxquels elle répond -- ce sont les effets de la Malédiction -- dans l'espoir de reconquérir l'amour de la Fiancée qui s'est tirée avec le Loup Garou ?

Hé, attendez voir.

Ca pourrait être divertissant.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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Comments thread (5)

574 - Guillaume

Guillaume
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Et que penser de Freddy vs Jason, sorti hier aux Sates? :)

575 - John Sabotta

John Sabotta
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You know, there is actually one great French horror film. Franju's LES YEUX SANS VISAGE It's brilliant. For the sake of Franju much can be forgiven. (Not everything, though) Maurice Jarre's score! The black Citroen of death! The faceless girl in the white mask, (Edith Scob) driven insane, releasing the experimental animals, surrounded by clouds of escaping doves! http://www.affichescinema.com/insc_y/yeux_visage.jpg JS (Actually,THE BROTHERHOOD OF WOLVES is pretty cool, too. On the other hand, me and friends of mine used to sit around and laugh at Godard's ALPHAVILLE. My friend S. used to do imitations of the Alphaville computer all the time.)

576 - John Sabotta

John Sabotta
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Another comment: Hammer is like the airship - it's always just about to come back. But without Terence Fisher, Roy Ward Baker, Peter Cushing, (Chris Lee is still around,but noit available,I imagine,for low budget stuff) Bernard Robinson, James Carraras, etc, etc, - "Hammer Films" is just a name, a name which will be slapped on some nonsdescript cheap films (maybe) but which will have little or nothing to do with the original. Better that it should stay buried. (Incidentally, what is wrong with 70s Italian horror films? Don't like SUSPIRIA? BARON BLOOD?) JS

577 - the dissident frogman

the dissident frogman France
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what is wrong with 70s Italian horror films? Absogoddamlutely nothing. I wasn't being sarcastic. I do love them.

578 - John Sabotta

John Sabotta
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Absogoddamlutely nothing. I wasn't being sarcastic. I do love them. Okay. It's all good. Remember the great lesson of Argento's PHENOMENA. "You don't have to worry about midget serial killers if you are friends with the insects." I am a great lover of Eurotrash, and especially Eurotrash Girlz (Soledad Miranda, Lina Romay, Edwige Fenech, even the expressionless Laura Gemser) but I have to say there is not as much French Eurotrash as there could be. There is that Rollins guy and his nude vampire stuff, but what I've seen looks like bad home movies. Sorry,but what can I say? But Franju is great! LES YEUX SANS VISAGE is the only film I've seen that makes me want to own a Citroen! (a evil shiny black Citroen).But it's not available on DVD in the United States! Is this some kind of French retaliation for Iraq? Free Franju! UN sanctions until a restored print of EYES WITHOUT A FACE is put on a Criterion DVD! That's my position, JS

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