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For the sake of the imperishable tradition of The European Useful Idiot®, I would like to welcome you to the official North Korea website.Which is in Spain.
Like Jean-Paul Sartre, a lowdown ideologist proclaimed "philosopher", Alejandro Cao de Benos de Les y Perez is not your average Socialist Simpleton (SS).
He is a high performance Socialist Simpleton (SS). The cream of the crop. The Head of the Herd.
Although he lives in Spain, he is a citizen and honorary consul of the Democratic (very funny Kim) People's Republic of Korea.
He says "us" when speaking about North Korea and call Kim Jung Il "our leader". He defines himself as in charge of the diplomatic (me wants oil or me destroy world), cultural, commercial and tourism (the Mass Graves & Death Camps Tour) affairs of the Democratic (very funny Kim) People's Republic of Korea in Spain.
Probably not that much of a heavy task, judging by the Democratic (very funny Kim) People's Republic of Korea's cultural, commercial and tourism activity (although the Mass Graves & Death Camps Tour is sold-out I'm afraid).
But ACDBDLYP (That's Alejandro Cao de Benos de Les y Perez, if you were sleeping in the previous paragraph) is also the webmaster of the very official and "Kim Jung Il approved" D(very funny Kim)PRK's website.
It's not that the D(very funny Kim)PRK couldn't have an official internet website of his own and under his control in the, er, D(very funny Kim)PRK.
The country even has the .kp domain name extension (hey where's the "D" gone Kim?).
But it's just not used at all.
Not that, unlike the People's Republic of China, the internet would be censored or its use restricted by the state.
It's just that there is no darn Internet in the D(v.f.K.)PRK.
And even if there was, there is no computers in the D(v.f.K.)PRK.
And even if there were, there is no people to operate them in the D(v.f.K.)PRK.
And even if there were, there is no electricity in the D(v.f.K.)PRK, because Mr. Bush stole it away from the D(w.t.f.)PRK's peaceful and wise Dear Leader, Mr Kim "Gimme oil for free else I'll destroy the world" Jung Il.
At least, that's what one can read if one can stand (without laughing) and go past the pictures of the Great
The USA is creating an energetic crisis by stopping the delivery of heavy oil (...) that was promised in exchange of freezing the Nuclear Power Station in our side. »Laughable.
We also have my favorite one: the usual and longstanding "US empire" idiom, which is always... very funny Kim.
Totally irrelevant but (or "therefore") very funny.
I just can't imagine a Communist [100 millions dead, more than 1 billion oppressed human beings, including North Korea] state's official documentation of any kind without a reference to a supposed "US empire". It's just so... exotic.
That specific and regrettable question being duly noted, the D(v.f.K.)PRK's official and Kim Approved website visitor will learn that the site was founded on December 2000 ( being the "28th anniversary of the Korean Socialist Constitution") by the KFA (Korean Friendship Association) which Socialist Simpletons and other Useful Idiots can join freely, as well as lots of other valuable and objective information on the past and present of the D(v.f.K.)PRK.
Among them:
(...) the (Korean) nation is divided because the U.S.A. is dominating the southern part and keeps an army (...) to avoid the union of the Korean people.»Not that much of a concern I'm afraid. Defecting traffic usually goes the other way I guess.
" If any South Korean citizen tries to visit North Korea crossing the big concrete wall, he'll be killed by the American soldiers.
The 'Security Law' in South Korea forbids to any South Korean citizen to talk or read about the North or else he'll be punished with jail or even death penalty.Enough, already. I don't know who they think they're fooling (besides ACDBDLYP and Jean-Paul Sartre's left eye) but I guess you get the idea.
So if you're ready for some... exotics and a good laugh, and if you're patient enough (or with a fast connection: the darn thing isn't even a proper website, just a sequence of jpeg slices - probably because HTML is not a language approved by Mr. Kim Jung Il) I suggest you pay a visit to the official North Korean website.
You don't want to miss the only concession to the "US empire" and Capitalism: the use of the great CafePress online service to produce and sell the KFA merchandising (the - please don't laugh - "KFA USA Branch Online Store").
There's a nifty "DPRK Socialist Achievement" Mousepad, made in the USA, which can be yours for the modest price of 12.99 US DOLLARS.
$12.99. Fair enough. Sounds like a rational estimation of the DPRK Socialist Achievement's global value.
I also suggest you push a bit further, from the "links" page up to the KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY of DPRK (in... well, er, Japan. Sorry, not Spain) where you will learn that the Yanks' anti-DPRK policy is coming "under fire abroad":
Pyongyang, January 14 (KCNA) -- The U.S. hostile policy towards the DPRK was condemned abroad. The Tanzania-DPRK Friendship Association and the Tanzanian National Coordinating Committee of the Juche Idea Study Groups in a joint statement on Jan. 4 urged the U.S. to drop its hostile policy towards the DPRK and conclude a non-aggression treaty with the DPR .So a bunch of pathetic bilious individuals, nostalgic of the disastrous collectivist past of Tanzania and Bulgaria (most probably these 50 ones) and members of their own "Korean Friendship" is actually and definitely on their side?
(...)The Bulgarian Group for the Study of the Juche Idea in a statement on Jan. 2 said the U.S. is more undisguised in nuclear threat against the DPRK and that threatening a non-nuclear weapon state with nuclear weapons is a wanton violation of the NPT.
Very funny Kim.
And don't forget: The Official Site of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is brought to you by the European Useful Idiot, Spanish Flavor!
Way less funny...
While visiting this This regime has always been at war with the free, capitalist world. That means us.
And please, remember what we learned from the former North Korean concentration camps custodians who defected in the late 80's and 90's, such as An Myung Chul.
Remember the daily crimes in the concentration camps: men hit behind the head with hammers and used as living target practice, women killed, their breast sliced with knives, their genitals smashed with shovel shafts, kids mauled and devoured by dogs at Camp 13 (1991).
Speaking about Camp 13, remember the 3rd Bureau's black truck nicknamed "The Raven". Remember its monthly visits at the camp to pick up 40 or 50 prisoners.
And remember the smoke that comes out of the 3rd Bureau's chimney after that.
This is not Germany 1945. This is our world. Now.
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3 - Nicolás Jiménez
Nicolás Jiménez