Attack of the Muslim Eating Warnimals

11 years and 3 months ago

Attack of the Muslim Eating Warnimals

Can't sleep, monkey-headed dog will eat me.

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Verily, the cunning and cruelty of the Crusaders know no boundaries.

Iraq:
«Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange man-eating, bear-like beasts into the area to sow panic.

(...) UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.

(...) One housewife, Suad Hassan, 30, claimed she had been attacked by one of the badgers as she slept.

"My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer," she said. "It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey," she told AFP.»
Iran:
"In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran's borders," state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran's borders.»
Ynetnews adds that "The use of rodents has not been documented in the past.", a claim easily debunked and yet another example of sloppy reporting and Zionist bias towards honorable Iranian police commanders and intelligence operatives.



France's secret animal warfare program.
Photo ©2007 the dissident frogman
(click the thumbnails for a larger view)

I addition, I have personally witnessed another secret experiment, for which I can and shall henceforth provide photographic evidence. At a French facility that will remain undisclosed, dogs are routinely made to sleep with (presumably man-eating) badgers, in order to produce unnatural hybrids against nature, endowed with dreadful ferocity and inbred Islamophobia, that could be unleashed on France's reckless Muslim minority to quell future riots.


Plus, if they wag their tails at you, your penis will melt(1).
  1. In case you do not have a penis to boot, for reason of being a woman perhaps, then expect your wardrobe to melt instead — This casts a new light on one of History's biggest mystery, to the lasting embarrassment of all men who rolled eyes, sighed loudly in disbelief and prepared their checkbook whenever they heard wifey's desperate cry "I have nothing to wear!"

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Comments thread (11)

  • Comment author avatar
  • GrimmyWhere I'm at.

Round 2 of the warnimal invasion will look like this:

lolcats.com/view/711/

 

Where does the light go, when the light goes out?

  • Comment author avatar
  • Iwo GinaMaryland

OMG!!! DF - you are TOO funny!! When do we send in the Ninja Ferrets?

Iwo Gina :coolsmile:

  • Comment author avatar
  • floridasuzieFlorida

Secret Squirrel was one of my favorite childhood cartoons, are you saying it wasn’t true? I’m crushed.

SuzieC

  • Comment author avatar
  • floridasuzieFlorida

Grimmy, I love those LOL cats.

Gina, Ninja ferrets! ROFL!

SuzieC

  • Comment author avatar
  • Ms.ManChowMaryland

It must have been these squirrels from Germany. 

Soo, when they arrest these squirrels and Manbearpigs, what sort of rewards do they get in heaven for killing them?  Pork rinds? Virginal rat pies? 

If we were fighting Puerto Rico, we would release the Chupacabra to create fear and mayhem.

Next, the armed Yeti!

 

...mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent… Adam Smith

  • Comment author avatar
  • Iwo GinaMaryland

These are the same folks that are messing about with nuclear materials. Oh. My. God.

Iwo Gina :coolsmile:

  • Comment author avatar
  • Mike H.Spokane, Wa

Are we speaking of Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle P. Moose? Are we speaking of the place that we could learn fractured things like fairytales? Um….Are we speaking of a couple of centuries ago?

I read a book about it once. ;)

et sic de similibus!

  • Comment author avatar
  • Ali MentaryStranger from out there

well, well, well. Excellent! I guess i found the right post to start with.

  • Comment author avatar
  • Valerie, Texas

Now this is a squirrel you do not want to mess with:

http://www.unitedspongebob.com/page.php?page=sandypics

She’s from Texas, of course.

 

MIke H., careful now, you might be taking a ride in the Way-Back Machine

with Mr. Peabody and Sherman!

  • Comment author avatar
  • Mike H.Spokane, Wa

Yes’um miss Valery, it feels like it. ;)

et sic de similibus!

  • Comment author avatar
  • Mike H.Spokane, Wa

Sorrie Miss Valerie ah cehn’t find mah dikshunerie. Bin lukin for it for twenny year or mor.

et sic de similibus!