Article copyYou may remember how I was telling you recently about "the unsolvable great dilemma that comes with the Global Warming Prophecy", and if you don't, well you can pretty much go and read it because I'm not going to keep quoting my own self all the time like that. It smells a lot like the common French self-delusion of grandeur. Very disturbing.
Anyway, back to the point: CNN founder Ted Turner just picked his side of the dilemma, and schedules the End of the World for tomorrow. In so doing, he also demonstrates a stunning ignorance of basic human activities, like that 10,000 years old hobby of us, agriculture:
Not doing it [i.e. "taking drastic action to 'correct' global warming" — Ed] will be catastrophic. We'll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.
The notion that "none of the crops will grow" with a few degrees more, and more importantly that the most ingenious crop-growing species in History (that's us) couldn't do anything about it anyway, will come as a surprise to anybody but media old farts and other urbanites who forgot about a good day's work in the field, if they ever had one in the first place.
Having said that, I'm not too big on carrots, vegetables and other cabbage, and I really can't wait for cannibalism.
My only concern is that considering my immoderate taste for Indian/Pakistani and Chinese cuisine, I could face charges of racism if I indulge in ethnic food.
But we'll cross that bridge when we'll get there — Ted Turner says 10 years, 40 tops.
Comments thread (8)
3358 - TooTall
I suspect that Ted Turner was dropped on his head while a baby - repeatedly!
3359 - DGB
The fossil evidence is clear.
With the evolution of the family compact into the SUV, dinsosaurs became irresponsible gas-guzzlers. They drove everywhere.
Until the advent of the Algoresaur, who had mysteriously acquired a primitive version of Powerpoint (Windows95, think the giant monolith from 2001), convinced all the dinosaurs, the great and the small, to ride bicycles, to skateboard, and to rollerblade.
The earth cooled down. Actually it iced over and all the dinosaurs died. But that's beside the point. The important thing is that today the dinosaur carbon footprint is miniscule. Just a handful of Komodo dragons.
In ten, well, maybe not ten, but forty years --tops -- we'll all be skipping around like spit on a hot skillet unless we cool down the earth again. Ted Turner knows what he's talking about. Well, maybe he doesn't. But tops, he knows he's talking.
Any number of B-movies attest to the fragility of man's taboo cannibalism. One more degree may be the tipping point to this.
Don't pollute. Don't drive. Don't smoke. Don't eat people. One square will do, so don't wipe two. Be nice. Mother earth thanks you.
3360 - Boogs
Boogs Airmont, NY
Robot Chicken did a great skit on Ted, fits the occassion perfectly :)
3362 - DrJen
No mystery here. Global warming took place, fried Al's brain, and receded.
-From your friendly "flat earth" physicist.
3363 - DrJen
P.S. This is further proof that Fried Brain Syndrome (aka FBS) is contagious!
3367 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
Reading it is just not suffiecent. You got to HEAR this wackjob to get the full effect! And this is nothing new for Capt Moronica.
3373 - tinga-tinga
Doesn't Ted Turner own a RANCH, actually at least TWO ranches? Massive properties. Last report was he owned buffalo - which generate flatulance just as earnestly as cattle do. Maybe the cowboys he employs look down on farmers so maybe urban Ted never associates with people who grow crops, and has never heard the expression "killing frost." If Ted's ranches were in Zimbabwe, Mugabe would be setting his thugs on him to steal it away on the grounds that he's a white guy with waaaaaay too much land to himself.
3375 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
Ted"Capt Moron" Turner owns in excess of 2.5 million acres in 7 states. Lets us put that in caps, 2.5 MILLION ACRES. Nebraska, Montana, South Dakota, Kansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico.
Plus residential properties in Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Colorado and Arkansas. All high end, luxury residential property.
The ranch land is being bought up in large swaths, and is situated so as to control resources and access to much larger areas than what he actually owns. Just a philanthropist? Does anyone really believe that?