the dissident frogman

13 years and one week ago

Hey girls, wanna see my bear repellent?

the dissident frogman

Necrothreading much?

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Here's a survival tip for you urban types, in case you find yourself forced to sleep in bear country without a dog to alert you and a rifle to protect yourself: you can define a reasonably protected perimeter—mark your territory if you will—and keep Teddy at bay by peeing around your campsite.

Here's a caveat: it only works with male pee. While it saves our fair ladies the embarrassment of performing the duck-and-crawl routine around the tent, it means you'll either have to be a male or carry one with you.

Here's an extra tip: do not, under any circumstance, combine that strategy with this piece of gear. Consequences could be dire if nature calls for an extra layer of protection in the middle of the night.

Here's another caveat: it only seems to work on bears and has no noticeable effect on other calamities, such as Socialists, bureaucrats and other tax collection agents.

Having said that, I'll risk the bet that your Liberal neighbor might feel less inclined to come at your fence and gloat over President-elect B Hussein Obama once he's witnessed you (or your hubby) taking a leak around the yard in broad daylight.

Might be worth a try.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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Comments thread (31)

3890 - Iwo Gina

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  • Iwo Gina Maryland

Here's a caveat: it only works with male pee.

Finally! An answer to the age-old question as to why God made it so that only men could pee whilst standing up!

it only seems to work on bears and has no noticeable effect on other calamities, such as Socialists, bureaucrats and other tax collection agents.

Would it be more effective if it was applied directly to the threat?

I'll risk the bet that your Liberal neighbor might feel less inclined to come at your fence and gloat over President-elect B Hussein Obama once he's witnessed you (or your hubby) taking a leak around the yard in broad daylight.

Or even on those campaign signs still stuck in their front yard... maybe I could train my dog to do that for me. Hey... he's only doing what comes naturally, and liberal greenies are all in favor of nature, aren't they?

Iwo Gina

3891 - Proof

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  • Proof Stockton, Callifornia, USA

So, let me get this straight...all this time, liberals have been doing this to us to protect us from bears???

3892 - TooTall

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[quote]Here's another caveat: it only seems to work on bears and has no noticeable effect on other calamities, such as Socialists, bureaucrats and other tax collection agents.[/quote]

That goes without sayinng. You want to repel them and I suspect these critters would be attracted by the smell of urine.

3893 - Lady Cincinnatus

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  • Lady Cincinnatus Ohio & Kentucky

Dang, I was hoping for more pictures. Heh.

3894 - SPQR

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Alas, good Frogman, I can tell you from first hand experience in bear territory ( Rocky Mountains near the Flattops Wilderness ) that this is ineffective.

Had a camp surrounded by the liberal application of said repellant and yet, we had a bear amble through our camp as if completely unconcerned. This happened when all were out hunting, and so no one knew until we returned to observe its prints through the center of camp, and the contents of one cooler strewn across quite a large area.

3895 - Karma Dancer

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Oh, but fear not! There is yet another helpful tome for you. Helps with the Socialists and bureaucrats, too:

backyard-ballistics.com/

:D

3896 - unknown jane

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Actually, women can pee while standing up (don't ask how I know this, you see some interesting things on a military base) -- it's just something about the chemical makeup of male urine that repels most predators (this method works on fox, coyote, and wolf too, the big cats not so much). I don't believe one should ever go into wilderness without at least a firearm thingy (the dog is optional but very nice to have), by the by, but I'm admittedly of the "huntin and fishin with Jimbo and Uncle Ted" flyover, hillbilly variety.

I thought socialists, bureaucrats, et al. would be more attracted to horse shit, by the way???

Maybe the human bear repellant might attract the ones who show up to those festivals in San Fran and the New? In which case, you might not want to deploy said bear repellant.

3897 - JihadGene

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  • JihadGene North Korea, Central California

I'll have you know that within the perimeter of my PyongYang Palace... it is strictly a "Bear-Free Zone".

Ruv you looong time!

Great Reader KIM Jong IL

3898 - 2hotel9

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  • 2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania

Mayhaps I should have tried this to keep Big Boy from tearing apart our barbque grill!