the dissident frogman

13 years and 6 months ago

To encourage the others (some more)

the dissident frogman

Necrothreading much?

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I've just found out that the convoluted array of filtering software that is supposed to keep the various pharmaceutical ads and other Mr. Winkie's Enlargement offers off my inbox and my radar has gone bonkers again.

As a result, some legitimate emails were caught and held in the custody of my proxy servers — while at the same time, I've seen more poetic(1) and unwanted messages, such as the following examples, invading my email client:
"People judge your [Mr. Winkie's -- Ed.] size by your shoes size. With [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] Enlarge Patch you don't have to wear bigger shoes to make women think you have a huge [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.]
Incidentally, I didn't know you could mislead women with bigger shoes. I've heard about bigger cars, yes, but bigger shoes? That sounds like a neat and affordable trick, at least compared to the price tag of a Ferrari. Anybody can confirm success using it?
If your [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] is small, even yoga won't help you
Which brings the question: then what the hell could yoga possibly be good for?
Blue whale's [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] is 3 meters because he tried [Mr. Winkie -- Ed.] Enlarge Patch
Tested and approved then. I imagine that what's good for the blue whale is good enough for me — though I can only begin to guess the adequate, non misleading shoe size for a dude with a 3 meters trouser snake.

Oh and, since we're into poetry, this all brings to mind the words of old Bill(2). You know:
With everything that pretty is,
My lady sweet, arise:
Arise, arise!
Gosh, what a dirty mind. That Shakespeare guy sounds as horny as a blue whale.

All Mr. Winkie jokes aside, I'm quite frankly rather irritated, as I always am when such things happen (and they've been known to happen). I can't really say when it started to go wrong as I'm still making my way through the various Purgatory boxes that compose my multi-layered filtering system. On a good day, they catch spam mail in the thousand(3) with very few misses, so it may take some time before I can manually look through all of this. So far, I've found wrongfully entrapped legitimate email as old as 47 bloody days.
I'm making my way through it, and will answer any mail for which an answer might still be relevant, but in case you emailed me — and expected an answer — at some point in the past two months and are reading this, please don't hesitate to resend(4). As a matter of fact, it might even help me to spot the good mail more easily.

Too bad this turned out to be a hoax, really(5). It could definitely have encouraged the others.

And the open comments question today is: are women really that interested in the size of men's shoes?
  1. Admittedly, in a sick and twisted rather than Shakespearian way.
  2. Shakespeare, this time.
  3. Double that during the great spam tides that happen from time to time.
  4. I've lowered the walls, which means more spam in my inbox, but hopefully less good mail in the junk one.
  5. Yes, I'm dead serious. I do wish spammers either make amends and learn an honest way to earn a living, or die a brutal and premature death.

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the dissident frogman

I own, built and run this place. In a previous life I was not French but sadly, I died.

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To reveal my email address, find the 1st  number in the code and enter it in the challenge field below.

84420

The Wise knows that Cities are but demonic Soul-tearing pits that shall not be entered.

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Comments thread (12)

2880 - 2hotel9

Comment author avatar
  • 2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania

Not sure how I did it, I don't get all that,,,stuff. Have to ask Wifey.

While we are discussing email, what is the best way to send you pics for gunporn posts? Always happy to share, and got that new boomstick to show off!

Una Salus Victus Nullam Sperare Salutem

2881 - SisterToldjah

Comment author avatar

DF wrote:

I'm making my way through it, and will answer any mail for which an answer might still be relevant, but in case you emailed me — and expected an answer — at some point in the past two months and are reading this, please don't hesitate to resend(4). As a matter of fact, it might even help me to spot the good mail more easily.

*smiles bashfully, scuffs toe on sidewalk* Er, there should be, oh, one or two messages from ST somewhere in there, DF ;) If you get around to the one I sent yesterday, please just disregard it. In fact, I hope the your spam filter ate it, as it sounds like a a crazy woman who has survived the last couple of days solely on a 12-pack of Jolt Cola (that's not far off the mark, actually). I'll resend the one before that, just in case it did get caught in your spam filter.

Incidentally, I didn't know you could mislead women with bigger shoes. I've heard about bigger cars, yes, but bigger shoes?

Heh - yeah, that's about as likely to happen as women believing that bigger glasses are an indicator of a bigger brain ;) (*prepares self for inevitable blonde joke[s] which may follow this comment*)

2hotel9 wrote:

While we are discussing email, what is the best way to send you pics for gunporn posts? Always happy to share, and got that new boomstick to show off!

Hey 2! Did you get a chance to try out Newsgator yet?

2883 - NevadaDailySteve

Comment author avatar
  • NevadaDailySteve Nevada, Missouri

And the open comments question today is: are women really that interested in the size of men's shoes?

I don't know but I sure hope so. Size 13 EEEEE. As for whether there is a correlation between shoe size and winkie size; only my wife knows for sure.

2884 - floridasuzie

Comment author avatar
  • floridasuzie Florida

Seems to me wearing shoes that are too big for ya would just make you look like a clown. OTOH, I always wondered what those clowns were doing all stuffed inside those tiny cars.

SuzieC

2886 - Proof

Comment author avatar
  • Proof Stockton, Callifornia, USA

"And the open comments question today is: are women really that interested in the size of men's shoes?"

Size 14 myself, but, I don't like to brag!

2887 - floridasuzie

Comment author avatar
  • floridasuzie Florida

DF,

re: your email problem...just 2 months back? I checked the date for when I sent you an email and see that it was July 28th. Not sure if I should re-send or not?

Suzie

SuzieC

2889 - Grimmy

Comment author avatar
  • Grimmy Where I'm at.

You didn't get my email?!?

Dude! I sent you a ground floor opportunity to wealth, fame and fortune! I have this contact in Nigeria that is having problems with his local banking establishment. He wants to send a million dollars to whom ever helps him raise the ten thousand bucks he needs to bribe the bank's manager and have his funds transferred to those great organized crime facilitators in the Swiss banking network!

So, do you want in? I shouldn't be saying this in public like this, because now everyone is gonna want a piece of the action! But if you still want in, send me $1,000.00US to secure your share.

Where does the light go, when the light goes out?

2890 - the dissident frogman

Comment author avatar
  • the dissident frogman France

2hotel9:

While we are discussing email, what is the best way to send you pics for gunporn posts? Always happy to share, and got that new boomstick to show off!

Email should work - and now that I'm aware of the situation, I will be even more vigilant. At least until the spammers up the ante again, forcing me to raise the shields higher again.

I know that one of the missing features around here is to give you the ability to upload and add pictures within your comments. This is in the talks between me (the blogger), myself (the admin & designer) and I (the bloke who must be convinced to put the shekels down on drive space.)

I'm running quite close to my server's hard-drive quota at the moment, and while the service is globally fine, my current hosting provider is a bit on the expensive side when it comes to adding extras such as a few gigabytes of disk space. I don't want to switch providers just yet, so I'm currently looking into other options -- will probably get a low cost/high capacity hosting solution and hotlink the heavy stuff from here to there.

Then you shall have the means to show-off your new boomstick on these very pages (in the meantime, I'd sure like to have look. Email will do just fine, thanks)

Sis':

In fact, I hope the your spam filter ate it, as it sounds like a crazy woman who has survived the last couple of days solely on a 12-pack of Jolt Cola (that's not far off the mark, actually)

You know, even in my wildest dreams, I never hoped I would someday be at the receiving end of a crazy woman's attention. That blogging thing is so rewarding.

Now I so hope my spam filters didn't eat this one...

Suzie:

Seems to me wearing shoes that are too big for ya would just make you look like a clown.

Right on. But then, maybe that's the idea. You know, as the dating advice goes: "make them laugh".

Found that in another spam mail actually, one that begins with "if a dame shows you her teeth, she will be willing to show you something else."
I hope the dames in the audience will want to weight on this one, as this might explain the clown thing.

On a more serious note Suzie:

I checked the date for when I sent you an email and see that it was July 28th. Not sure if I should re-send or not?

July? Ouch. If you're certain I have not answered that, then please do resend.

Grimmy: A million dollars in exchange for just 10,000? Man, count me in!

Imagine all the Mr. Winkie Enlargement Patches one can buy with that...

Time to take sides

2891 - 2hotel9

Comment author avatar
  • 2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania

Cool! I'll get some pics today. I sent a couple back in July and they were returned, that was when we were having email server problems, just before we switched to Embarqmail. Earthlink appears to be circling the toilet bowl.

Una Salus Victus Nullam Sperare Salutem

2895 - bonmotdot

Comment author avatar

And the open comments question today is: are women really that interested in the size of men's shoes?

Well, I was going to post a clown joke, but I guess that's what happens when you're late to the party. Everyone else got to the joke first. My short answer: No. Unless he keeps his brains in his shoes.

As for teeth, at least in these parts there's a big difference between showing one's teeth and baring one's fangs. A socially aware man can spot the difference. If she's stroking her hair and smoothing it behind her ear, you're probably doing well...

But as you're a Frenchman, you already know that. ;-)