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Numbers, numbers: in what might well be a sign of the close coming of the end of times, Jules Crittenden's first blog anniversary is just a couple of days away from my fifth, which is today.

Seeing that we're physically several thousands miles away however, the getting-drunk-together-at-the-closest-titty-bar has to be postponed. Indefinitely. Life sucks, and then you die.

Talking about dying and of how many years, it seems that all the entertainment we'll get to celebrate our blogs' birthdays is provided by Al Gore the Witchdoctor rather than some anonymous yet lascivious pole dancer. No glittering thong and high-heels -- and therefore not the same effect on our respective tender gender fiber, but still: what a boob.

He's mixing a bit his numbers, and just listening to him it's a bit hard to figure out when exactly the World Is Coming to an End: sometimes he gives us less than 23 years, sometimes as little as 34(1).

I hope you enjoy the stunt though. Relax, and don't forget what Al Gore the Witchdoctor is carefully not telling you. Non exhaustively: that his computer models are regularly proven wrong, that we're coming out of a little Ice Age (which tends to explain why it is a bit warmer than it used to be), that even if the Arctic ice is melting, the Antarctic is getting colder (meaning that global warming is not even global), that CO2 is a consequence, not a cause of warming, that if some glaciers are melting, others right next to them are advancing, and that compared to the 1930s and 1000 AD, it's actually getting rather cold these days.

Again, that's just a tiny sample of the long list of inconvenient facts the Nobel Prize witchdoctor is conveniently leaving aside.

Al Gore is playing on stupid or uneducated people's irrational fears, a game of power and control that's as old as the first stone age shaman who realized that rather than risking to hurt and tire hunting dangerous animals with the men of the tribe, or breaking his back gathering dull roots and boring veggies with the women, he could make out imaginary dangers, foretell unforeseen consequences (floods, storms, droughts, etc) for the tribe's most basic actions, lay the guilt on each of its members -- and explain that he can help out, if only the people accept to provide him with a good share of venison. Plus a bit of salad, carrots and potatoes on the side. One needs fibers for a healthy diet.

The only thing that changed is that you are more likely to be far less stupid, and a lot more educated than the average stone age tribesman.

So don't let the Witchdoctor fool you. Global warming is normal warming.

Note: If you're reading this through the RSS feed, you're not receiving the man-made global warming denier terrorist mime video alert. Shame that.
  1. When every hitchhiker knows the right answer is 42.