Article copy
Seeing that we're physically several thousands miles away however, the getting-drunk-together-at-the-closest-titty-bar has to be postponed. Indefinitely. Life sucks, and then you die.
Talking about dying and of how many years, it seems that all the entertainment we'll get to celebrate our blogs' birthdays is provided by Al Gore the Witchdoctor rather than some anonymous yet lascivious pole dancer. No glittering thong and high-heels -- and therefore not the same effect on our respective tender gender fiber, but still: what a boob.
He's mixing a bit his numbers, and just listening to him it's a bit hard to figure out when exactly the World Is Coming to an End: sometimes he gives us less than 23 years, sometimes as little as 34(1).
I hope you enjoy the stunt though. Relax, and don't forget what Al Gore the Witchdoctor is carefully not telling you. Non exhaustively: that his computer models are regularly proven wrong, that we're coming out of a little Ice Age (which tends to explain why it is a bit warmer than it used to be), that even if the Arctic ice is melting, the Antarctic is getting colder (meaning that global warming is not even global), that CO2 is a consequence, not a cause of warming, that if some glaciers are melting, others right next to them are advancing, and that compared to the 1930s and 1000 AD, it's actually getting rather cold these days.
Again, that's just a tiny sample of the long list of inconvenient facts the Nobel Prize witchdoctor is conveniently leaving aside.
Al Gore is playing on stupid or uneducated people's irrational fears, a game of power and control that's as old as the first stone age shaman who realized that rather than risking to hurt and tire hunting dangerous animals with the men of the tribe, or breaking his back gathering dull roots and boring veggies with the women, he could make out imaginary dangers, foretell unforeseen consequences (floods, storms, droughts, etc) for the tribe's most basic actions, lay the guilt on each of its members -- and explain that he can help out, if only the people accept to provide him with a good share of venison. Plus a bit of salad, carrots and potatoes on the side. One needs fibers for a healthy diet.
The only thing that changed is that you are more likely to be far less stupid, and a lot more educated than the average stone age tribesman.
So don't let the Witchdoctor fool you. Global warming is normal warming.
Note: If you're reading this through the RSS feed, you're not receiving the man-made global warming denier terrorist mime video alert. Shame that.
Comments
Comments thread (41)
2955 - Words Twice
Words Twice USA
"Global warming is normal warming"
Ha! I like it!
2956 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
Hahahahahahah!!!!! I love it! The Goreacle is SO gonna issue a Fatwa on you. But you forgot, we are all already dead. Ted Danson 3rd rate actor and Global Warm Expert said the seas were going to polluted and we would all die, in 1988. So I guess we is all deaded! Boohoo.
Have you seen the groundbreaking Global Warming coverage on NBCs Today Show? Matt lauer was standing on the Arctic Circle, and it is so warm his breath did not fog when he spoke, standing out of doors, on the Arctic Circle, in November. Wow. Just, wow.
2957 - Nemerson Lavoura
Nemerson Lavoura
Great Dissident!
Congratulations for the 5th anniversary of one of the greatest blogs on Earth! I hope you'll carry on the good work - at least for the next 23 or 34 or 45 or 54 years (only Gore knows it).
Your biggest fan in Brazil,
Nemerson (blog Resistência)
2959 - Proof
Proof Stockton, Callifornia, USA
Everything since the last Ice Age is "global warming"! Consider the alternative...
2960 - BlueStarMom
BlueStarMom
Another great one! Congrats.
Tonight I will have a glass of wine with one ice cube in it to honor Al.
2961 - Civis Proeliator
Civis Proeliator
Bravo, sir! Bravo. And congratulations on the anniversary. I shall dedicate the first hefeweizen this evening to the French man-made global warming denier terrorist mime.
2962 - SisterToldjah
SisterToldjah
It's too early for "happy hour" here in the US, but nevertheless, I propose a toast to DF on his 5th blogiversary - cheers! Here's to many more blogiversaries :)
2963 - 2hotel9
2hotel9 Western Pennsylvania
Sorry, Froggy, didn't mean to forget the blogaversary! Congrats and many returns! Come 12:00 I'll tip a few HighLifes in your honor. And before that I'll boom a hundered or so rds through the new Boomstick as a Salute.
2964 - Iwo Gina
Iwo Gina Maryland
Happy Blogday, DF! (she says choking on the last of her spewed coffee while wiping off her screen - can I borrow your hair-dryer for my keyboard? It got soaked!)
That's it... it's now official - You are the world's greatest mime!!
2965 - Arch
Arch
DF:
We are not alone in our skepticism. I sent you an email with links to other like minded critics of the warmies. The BBC, CBC and the President of the Czech Republic are with us. My favorite is Joe LaGuardi, the guy from Boston. (When you watch his video, avoid drinking liquids or risk their projectile nasal ejection.)
UK Ch4 Program About Global Warming British Skeptics
The Guy from Boston - Global Warming ("Mature" Language but hilarious)
Economist Bjorn Lomborg: Global warming is not a priority Nice to do, but at what cost?
My problem with the whole idea is that they refuse to engage in serious technical debate ignoring the following:
1. For the last 1,600,000,000 years, ice ages (glacials) have occerred about every 100,000 years. Acentury ago, a Serbian civil engineer theorized that glacials are astrophysical - caused by changes in the Earth's orbit. See "Milankovich Cycles."
2. The preeminent climatologist in the United States is Dr. Reid Bryson of the U of Wisconcin. He says that water vapor is the most important green house gas. When asked to assess the impact of CO2, he says that H2O causes 80% of greenhouse effect takes place in the first 30 feet above the surface. CO2 causes about 0.08%, so water vapor is 1000 times as important. "If you go out and spit in your front yard, you have had more effect than doubling CO2. See the "Faithful Heretic."
3. According to NASA, 168 Billion metric tons of CO2 is added to the world's atmosphere annually. 100 B come from the oceans, releasing CO2 as they warm. (A result of warming, not a cause.) 30 B come from animal respiration - breathing. 30 B come from decaying plant and animal matter. Man only adds 8 B including 6 B from burning fossil fuels. So, if we were to cease all use of use of petroleum, natural gas and coal, push the world's standard of living back to the 8th Century, the total CO2 would decrease from 168 B to 162 B metric tons.
4. Great experiment melting ice. Archimedes would be proud of you. If the ice caps and ice bergs melt, what would happen to sea level? Nothing.
Arch